To Be of Use...

I am writing. Writing songs. I have been making some headway on two albums. One, a love-song album "Paper Sun" that will be be recorded all with acoustic instruments, and the second is the EP "Los Feliz", which is inspired by my little drum machine and Los Feliz in Los Angeles, that are upbeat songs. Love songs and upbeat songs, all of which are during this time of financial hardship. No paid work and a credit card company suing my ass. A challenge to say the least. I should be pessimistic. I should be depressed. I should be a lot of other things, but I'm not. Fearing those "worst case" scenarios for many years, caused myself to have deep bouts of depression and a stomach so used to being tied up in knots that it wouldn't know what to do if it weren't. Now that many of the fears are coming true, I realize how little importance they really have on life, and on living. Yea...I now have "bad credit". Not something to be proud of for sure, but not anything to jump in front of a train for either. Many revered people have lost much and still they accomplished, still they persevered and endured. What I find of great importance is that it is "to be of use". I write, record, produce and perform songs. A humble trade. The idea of a rock star is and has been a bad idea. There are exceptions to every situation, but generally speaking rock stardom should never be a goal. It is only an effect, one that should be warily wished for it seems. I wouldn't know. I'm not one, nor have I ever been one. I just want to be of use. Sometimes I succeed in being that, other times not.