Talking With My Inner Dialog...

Outer: I need to go to bank. I gotta get ready for my Nashville trip. Shooting my Atom Orr video for my song "Friends Fur Life".

Inner: I wanna rob the bank. I've always wanted to rob a bank. Not in the daylight, but at night. Stealthily. In the shadows. Breaking and entering. Safe cracking. Diamond heists. Oooh! Yea diamond heists! Better than a bank. Gotta find a good fence though...

Outer: It'll be great to see my friends. I'm only there a week. It's gonna go by fast.

Inner: Whiskey! Lots of whiskey! So much I'll wake up in my own piss on the wooden floor of the bar. No...wait...I'll wake up in a seedy motel room 80 miles outside of town. I'll have no memory of how I got there, but there is a blue flower in my hand. What kind of flower is it? I haven't a clue...

Outer: Scouting out locations, thinking of some fun camera angles...

Inner: Prince's Hot Chicken Shack! Extra Hot! So hot my ass will flame out for 3 days. Pickles. White Bread. Potato salad. A slice of Chess pie. I wonder if that old black lady is still there? She was kinda sweet on me. *smile*

Outer: Green...Trees. Humidity. I love Tennessee. Home.

Inner: Going to clubs made from old laundromat's and basements. Late night diners and soul food that will smoke and cure you into a walking salted ham. Bonfires, more whiskey, weed and psychedelics...

Outer: Maybe I can get some writing and reading in. I wanna read some of works by Harlan Elliot and Richard Brautigan.

Inner: Yea! Write something. None of this hamby-bamby political correctness. Better to be banned than to be accepted I always say. Though I'm not too out there really. I'm not into rape, incest, little children, or have homosexual tendencies. I'd fuck all female ethnicities in the cunt or ass, but still...nothing too shocking...hmmm...even kinda blasé... *frown*

Outer: I'm so glad no one can hear my inner dialog...

I'm Not Talking Truth, But Crazy Truth!

I'm not talking about truth, but "crazy truth". There is a difference you know. The truth we all equate to is fact. 2 + 2 = 4. Crazy truth is 2 + 2 = 6. "Oh...I thought I saw that last number as a 4." Our perceived truth. It's not factual, but just as strong. More often than naught, we choose crazy truth over truth. Most of the time because we don't think there is a difference, and others because we know there is a difference but we like the crazy truth better.


In this sense we are creators of our reality...like when we dream. Ever read "The Circular Ruins" by Jorge Luis Borges? It's a short read, you should take a gander. He was heavily influenced by Miguel de Cervantes...you know the author of "Don Quixote". Another proponent of the alternate reality of crazy truth. 


The question is...should the crazy truth be encouraged? Are we just fooling ourselves? And if we are, is it a bad thing? I like to claim myself as a realist most of the time, except in my flights-of-fancy-creative-whack-out-moments. I do this, because a lot of the time it is helpful. Though I must confess, being a 100% realist is too much of an observist point of view and not taking an active role in defining our lives, but simply pacifying. There is something to being a "leaf in the wind", accepting the lack of control we have in our lives, but to murk up the waters further, I believe we need to take an active role in our acceptance. That is to say, it is a team effort. We are holding hands with fate, free will, truth, and crazy truth. Did y'all need to take a break and smoke some of that awesome medical marijuana before continuing to read this blog? On a side note, blogs are so damn one-sided. I'm sure many of you would have some highly emotional discourse on this. I'm sure we could figure out the universe and how to save the world in a few hours if it was late enough and we all have our favorite libation and munchy food at our sides.


I prefer a really good whiskey or magically laced brownie/cookie items, along with some kind of protein/dairy/fat/caffeinated/chocolaty/sugar goodness and lain into some comfy contraption that points me towards the heavens. We'll continue this and meet up around 3 a.m. okay?

Swing and a Miss! Or Vacuum Cleaners Unite! Or Ignore Him It Was The Cheerleaders

No....I'm not talking about a tree swing and Little Miss Muffet who sat on something eating curds. Nope. I'm talking about missing....you know...the opposite of hitting. Why all the accolades for hitting? I think there is some credit due to all the wild swings out there that people make every day. I say go out there and strike out! Swing away! Let loose all this conservative life stuff. Sure...you may miss, probably miss a lot. Maybe even every single time. Better than to get hit by the ball and walk to first base. Sure in baseball that's fine, but in life, that's an awful way to get around...even painful. Don't be afraid to strike out! I'll be there standing up and cheering for you! I'll do a one person wave. I'll hit the beach ball down to you. I'll buy you a beer and some cracker-jacks.


You think Reggie Jackson ever struck out? Hell yea he did. All the great hitters have. All the great artists, philosophers, do-gooders, world-shakers, world-changers have struck out. They got those hits by swinging and being unafraid to miss. Missing is as important as hitting. Maybe more, because you can learn a lot from a failure, and almost learn nothing from a success. So go out there and dare to suck! I've been sucking for years and plan to continue sucking until I can't suck no more. Get your head out of the gutter! Granted I have a huge deficit in my moral fiber, but you know what I'm laying down, so pick it up and start swinging!


You hear that? No...it's not a large vortex making a large sucking sound...it's the universe cheering.


Hmmmm...I'm way too positive today. I think it was the baton twirling scene from "A Face In the Crowd" I saw today...it got my juices flowing...

Digging In the Dirt...

All I do is not enough. Nice, normal people. What is exactly that? Proceed. Proceed Cady/Christopher/Atom. We never know what "will ruin everything". "Oh it's you! Hey you! You're the one that will ruin everything! Cool..."

Opposites. Diametrically opposed forces...and I'll agree with both. Take for instance the ideas of Ayn Rand and the idea of the individual, the creator...and conversely the idea of "to be of service" to others. I feel that I must be both at the same time. Maybe I just have a propensity for all encompassing mind-fucks. *laughing*

Maybe to better be of service to others you gotta get your own stuff worked out first. Hmmm...not first. That would mean we'd never do anything for others for 50 years or we walk into the desert for 40 days alone. We can do it whilst we're still under-construction. I have a lot more construction needed. A week in the stockade won't help me. "Yes...I did it. I touched your woo-woo..." We all have woo-woo's...and they all must be touched. We gotta eat, breath, squint when it's too bright. I am fucking with you. Really...I'm not. I'm both! This is the point.

I'm digging in my dirt and when that happens I might find almost anything. This isn't the usual nothing. There's nothing and then there's nothing and this isn't nothing because it is nothing! Damn it! I did it again! This is evidence for my banishment proceedings. Banish me. I've been bad...I will continue being bad and will continue being good and trying not to be a selfish asshole in this whoreld...this world.

I'm not gonna hit delete. Delete is for pussies.

Down the Rabbit Hole...

Unicorns having three-way penetrative sex whilst vomiting rainbows and farting magic...this is in my head...oh dear... It's is amazing what can be found on the Internet. Every perversion known to man and few man didn't know it had. Like UniPorn. Porn with unicorns. I won't list these links for you, because it is simply too easy to find it yourselves.

How disturbing can we get? Not enough apparently. I'm sure I could type the most vile and f*cked up thing and put it into Google and I'd find a link or website devoted to it. The Internet has become our collective conscious, no matter how dark and disturbing...and I like that.

I think in acknowledging our darkest thoughts we have an opportunity to vanquish them. This may take some time though. *laughing* It will take a long time for my mind to let go of the UniPorn imagery...but I'll have a many a good laugh getting rid of it. Many things out there are not as funny or funny at all. Putting a light into the darkness shows us what's really there and gives us the chance to not be scared and find that the noise we heard was just a hungry cockroach, not the Devil and all it takes is a few carefully placed footsteps...

You Are In My Movie...

You are in my movie. Yep. That's right. My movie. I didn't pick you, the casting director did. Stupidly, I assigned myself to be the director, lead actor, co-writer, and even the DP! No wonder I'm always exhausted! *laughing and coughing*

Notice I'm not the producer and a "co-writer". Yep, the producer can pull the plug on the production of this puppy anytime. I'm always battling with the other script writers...."Really? Do I have to be broke all the time and get sued by creditors? Really? Can't we write in a break somewhere? Like a song placement? Or maybe a fan base larger than 50 people? No? Okay..."

It a movie that is a work in progress. The plot is typical Hollywood. Guy struggles to be a man, an artist, makes dumb-ass choices sometimes, adventures, near-death events...with a twist of indie film scenes thrown in laced with boredom and malaise. You know...the kind of indie film you watch nothing happen at all. That's my movie. Thank goodness I'm the DP, at least I can choose what lenses to want to look though, wide screen, 120 mm, rose colored...

Some people I want taken out of my picture, but they're under contract, so I'm stuck with them. Others I want put in my movie...it may happen, or I may have to fight for them to get put in, or I can't afford them or they are in another movie and they can't do mine. There are so many actors it's like an Robert Altman film. Which means a good chance it will get critical acclaim and be a monetary flop....but that's alright. You can't take it with you, right? *grin*

I don't know how big a role you will play, it's up to you, me, the other writers and the producer...but hopefully you'll want me in your movie. I need the work! Hell, I'll work for the catering food!

Furry Friends and Walmart...

Furry friends and Walmart. This is what is on my mind today. I'm planning a video shoot with my super-woman-friend-DLW-Stacie Huckeba for my song "Friends Fur Life" from my Los Feliz EP in East Nashville. All I will say is that I'll be laughing my ass off the whole time. Images of bear and bunny heads, a little seediness, and little 70's and a lot of....well...you'll just have to wait and see.

Now add those images with images from the website of www.peopleofwalmart.com and you'll have an inkling of what is swirling around my head. It is scary, very scary. Please help me. Someone please wash my brain out with soap. Anyone stupid enough to mix Fluffies with Walmart is fucking crazy and I stand guilty. I plead the Fifth! I plead the Fizzy! Fifth! Hawaii FIVE - OH I plead the Fizzy!!! Jesus! Jesus! Jesus! Do I hear a Hala-fallujah?!!

See..this is where anti-psychotic medication would come in handy.