Schizophrenic Encyclopediac...

I am a Schizophrenic Encyclopediac. That's right, you heard me. Most everyday I feel like I'm Odysseus with the Gods thwarting my every move and other Gods helping me out of a jam. I feel like I'm Arturo Bandini walking the streets and asking the dust. I feel I'm lost in a Borges labyrinth only to find myself at the beginning. I feel I'm Raskolnikov who just bashed in someone's brains and trying to get back home. I feel like I'm Keith Talent and I just blew the dart tournament. I feel I'm Ishmael and Ahab is about to take us all down to the jowls of the white whale. I feel like I'm Felix Krull and I just got found out. I feel like I'm Tomas and I'm just trying to get across the border. I feel like Musashi after the great learning period about to strike out on his own. I feel like Chinaski who just lost another horse race but is content to just listen to Wagner on the radio. I feel like Herodotus observing the world and writing stories and points of interest down on electronic papyrus. I feel like Van Gogh miserable in his room but life-ravenous in the fields. I....I feel like Christopher...not knowing what to feel, but feeling it just the same. It's like a swimming pool. You can stare at it all day but you don't really know a thing until you jump in.

Jump.

In a bad fake German accent: "Ya...zee vater's fine!"